31 December 2010

Although I could rip the Korean off even more by doing a best and worst thread I'm not sure I should. Namely because the blog isn't really big enough. I mean unlike him I do not receieve 2 million emails per day. Not to mention I live by a life is short mentality kind of thing. Besides the worst kinds of emails I generally ignore though they have to get really bad before I'll ignore them completely. Unless I feel they are so bad that they actually deserve a post. Which isn't exactly frequent. Digging around in my email box since I tend to keep emails for years (I even have them from the 1990s) I have emails such as:

Dear Chinese guy What do they call their good plates in China?
It wasn't funny the first time let alone the 90th time I was sent this question. Yet I get this every other week. Geez there is some weak trolling going on sometimes.

How long is China man?

Again this wasn't funny the 10th time it was emailed to me as well. Then we get some downright bizarre ones which were a bit whack and were also ignored.

Then it gets inexplicably worse:

Dear Chinese guy

I've been working in China for over a year now and I'm thinking about going back home Should I?

Do I look like a crystal ball to you? How should I know if you should go back home or not? Maybe you should take a look at your own circumstances and make a rational decision based on the facts at hand. You know rather than asking some weird guy in the UK on a blog as to if you should make a life changing decisions.


How can I get a green card for USA?

Erm ask at the local American Embassy? I'm not an immigration lawyer though I'm pretty sure they don't give them out to everybody and anybody.

Then you get small irritating ones.

CG What were the causes of the Chinese civil war? Can you give me a list and some sitations?

What? Do you just ask me to do your homework for you? Are you too freakin' lazy to simply type it into google and look it up on Wikipedia? citations indeed!

Hey Chinaman

[That is a bad start already as it's rather a nasty racist slur] How often do you eat gross things like dog and cats?

Riight I'm snacking on a dog on a stick riight now and there are some cats drowning in the bath tub ready to be cooked.

Jumping straight in
Hey how do you make number 33 and number 12 on the menu, the guy behind the counter won't tell me!

Soylent green that's what. But how the fuck would even I know what number 33 or 12 is of your local (presumably) Chinese take out place. Seriously do you think that all menus are identical each and every restaurant you eat at? Or that somehow we have some sort of hive mind that allows me to detect which of the 1.7bn Chinese people on the planet you are talking about?

Anyway I would never make a post in such a manner....

wait a minute, aw fuck....

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