26 August 2010

Chinese queues.

Dear Chinese guy

Why do Chinese people not know how to queue? In Hong Kong everybody pushes in from all sorts of angles... In China they push in at all sorts of angles when I was trying to get onto the subway.


Dear B

This is unfair! Chinese people can queue and do queue..... sometimes... for example Mao's tomb in Beijing each morning except for Wednesday. You see shit loads of people queue there for hours to get a glimpse of potentially the fake plastic corpse. Or real pickled version Commies so love to do like Lennin or erm who was that N Vietnamese one I forget. Or the Shanghai expo people queue for hours to see stuff. I mean have you ever seen a Fortress Sale in Mongkok?

While if you take the bus the BTR thing in Beijing or even public minibuses, people will queue, although they have to became the entry and exit is so small. So your idea of Chinese people being unable to queue is incorrect except in ONE situation.

The MTR where all bets are off. The MTR is an extra dimensional anomaly device where the rules simply do not apply at all. It's kind of like an huge rotten arguement with your girlfriend whereby any answer you give is potentially wrong.

Where yes means no and no means no etc... and maybe might mean no, and go ahead means no....

Or even worse your nearest and dearest asks you.

"Does me bum look big in this?"

It is one of those situations where rules of the universe simply do not exist and do not work as normal. If Einstien was alive it could potentially be harvested as a clean source of energy. Much like hyperactive children could be utilised as a clean source of energy if we hooked them up to giant hamster wheels.

Once you scan your octopus card on the gate and walk through you are transported into an alternate reality or dimension. For instance the rules of physics no longer apply where two things can exist in the same object space time. This definately does not apply on Asian MTR systems Tokyo for instance....it makes cattle cars seem generous...

In this plain of reality Chinese people feel a desperate urge to leave as soon as possible hence the crowding and pushing in. Also pushing out and the tendency to run for the escalators like they are on fire to save 0.03 seconds. To get out of this extra dimensional plain of existance....maybe it contains ghosts or something. TCG doesn't mind ghosts.

There are however several more rational reasons.

Firstly the MTR has limited seats. You see this on the former KCR a lot. Even though HK is a small place inc the NT the old KCR is considered to be quite a long trip. Therefore at Hung Hom people will fight to get seats not to the point where fists erupt and a brawl occurs but they'll push people out of the way to get to them. Otherwise you are stood up for absolutely ages and because the MTR company is too cheap to maintain the Shatin Tai Po tracks properly it is a rough ride. This is extra amplified on the Beijing Metro where the trains are tiny things like they ones used in London.

Secondly HK Beijing/Shanghai and their MTRs (Tianjin was ok though but the metro there is tiny) are places where life moves much faster. The people who live there are like mayflies and live only one day and therefore rush around. This can save them 0.001 second in pushing in. Curiously this is wrong because on UK motorways they introduced a lower speed limit which curiously improves flow.

Thirdly HK lacks assertive people of the right kind....

You know when security types always say do not negotiate with terrorists? They say this because if you do it merely encourages more terrorism because they get their way. There are 100s of YouTube videos of MTR fights bus fights etc. You see people running away cowering in fear. For instance 99% of the time when people push in people ignore it. This means they get away with it. Like when everybody first learned to drive they stuck by the rules like glue but then realised they could get away with so much shit.
  • Much like women who fake orgasms it makes their fellas think Cor blimey I'm good! When really
  • Or the way porn perpetuates the myth that foreplay is a quick flick of her bean and she's gagging for it.

Unless challenged attitudes and behaviour won't change....
probably why UK society is so buggered because nobody dares to challenge the chavs

TCG is vastly different and will turn to people and say, "Oi what the fuck do you think you're doing? Get into the queue!" The purp is often incredibly surprised at what has just happened because 99% of people will not do anything even rarer they will say something back. But nearly 100% of my experience has been they back off, the 1% was at Admiralty where a woman tried to push in via the side hugging the platform screens. But she said something nasty to me I caught the end of only and she completely failed to get past me.

No comments:

Post a Comment