29 November 2010

There's an app for that

For those of the Iphone/Imac and whatever generation in HK and China.

Fed up with burning huge wads of money which cost bog all anyway?

Well there's an app for that!

Belated comedy spot

I'm kind of tired and had a terrible day when nothing went right, it also took me 3.5 hours to get home because the main motorway was closed, it was only 40 miles too! Meh the crappy UK road network is somewhat crappy.

Therefore this is late and I'm kind of tired enough to go to bed shortly.

This video always cheers me up though.

Golden boy episode 5 part 3/3

Maybe I should ride MY motorbike to work more often, but its a choice between freezing to death and dying of boredom

28 November 2010

24 Herb tea season 二十四味凉茶


Its currently -6 outside which isn't too bad. The cold doesn't bother me too much, riding around on a motorbike in summer gear is something I've done for ages. The problem is the pain it causes me, old injuries ache when it gets too cold. But thats more to do with windchill than actual cold. Myself and Kim (who else!) in Seoul last year spent ages in the ice bar in Seoul. Considering outside was 100% humidity 40C we went inside and didn't come out for ages..... the Korean barman could only stay inside for a few minutes at a time and would go outside. Kim (being from Dallas, and also having lived in Santa Monica) was also fine with staying in the freezer. Heh we asked the barman to turn on the air conditioning as we felt hot even inside the meat locker.

No I dont mind the cold at all.... instead I mind the potions which Chinese people are supposed to drink to keep themselves fit. As with 粽子 I live near an awful lot of old Chinese women who's children have had the good sense to move far far away. They are generally bored, and lonely and thus come to pester me sometimes. In response TCG spent an afternoon showing them how to get online and they pester me an awful lot less. However since it first started to get cold I've been given lots of 24 herb tea..... urk..... they will stand and won't leave until I've drank it. Today its 1046am as I type this and I've had two batches already. This tea is classic snake oil type stuff and it has a scatter gun approach to what it cures.

Off my head:

It's said to be able to enrich vital energy, clean away internal heat(yeet hay), eliminating dampness and heat, cooling and refreshing to the system for influenza, fever, poor appetite, strengthening of body and improves general resistance.Can cure colds and coughs, fevers and headaches, hangovers, eruptive disease, tiredness, infantile fevers, pathogenic dryness and heat in combination, and constipation, eliminating dampness and heat, promoting the production of body fluid to quench thirst, halitosis, anorexia, abdominal dissension, fidget, lack of physical strength, dizziness, pimples acne.

I can say it works, not because of the stuff in it, because it tastes so incredibly fowl and bitter, like when beer tastes when you've had too much, but worse much worse. It makes you gag and forget all about your pains elsewhere. Much like the classic pain relief when you hurt yourself when we were all children. Whereby to 'relieve' pain say a headache people would stamp on your foot. Because the stamp hurt more you'd stop thinking about your headache.

Strangely though it does kind of work, maybe it is psychological like placebos. But then again going to see the Doctor in the UK can take anywhere from 3-8 weeks to get an appointment by which time I feel better already.

My dad swears by the stuff and has a bowl every day as he passes a small shop as in the picture above where they serve it daily. He is pretty old however, so is my gran and she drinks it daily(ish) too and she's pushing 100.

HK language skills

Hong Kong has two languages right? Can you get along with just one or do you need both to work and live


Dear Tiff

In HK you can live there speaking English or Cantonese only, or only Hakka which is mostly in the NT areas, though those damned punti laos have occupied most of the traditional Hakka lands too. It is perfectly possible to live in HK speaking and reading English only. Road signs, maps announcements on PA systems are in Mandarin, Chinese and English. There are English news papers and even TVB pearl an English TV channel. Whenever I traverse the mid levels you seldom hear any Chinese spoken at all since it is stuffed full of expats and their irritating useless trophy wifes and or husbands. It's called a white ghetto for a reason.

However in speaking only English (I presume) you will severely limit yourself on the jobs front as the younger locals universally will speak English. It is heavily accented though but perfectly understandable.

For example here


Its kinda funny because my time spent overseas means I wonder if I sound like that to Chinese people (I don't people think I am native, something to do with being raised on TVB I suppose) Though this plays haywire with my UK accent as simply it is a mishmash or different UK accents languages and tones. Thus everybody recognises me instantly on the phone.

It is highly useful to pretend NOT to be able to speak Chinese though as people will say nasty things behind your back thinking you won't understand. Heh an anecdote is my aunt runs a shop I had to help out once and she said something nasty about a black man who came in. You know Si huuk Gwai, unfortunately for her this man had lived in HK for many years and understood her and was somewhat offended.

/ Fluff


If the company you work for deals with China (most of them do) you'll need a good grasp of Mandarin too. And thus without sufficient language skills you may well suffer on the jobs front since the locals will work harder (due to being indoctrinated), faster, and are highly educated and motivated due to face and shame issues. Probably why my lazy ass is in the UK where I can work 30-40 hours a week, while a similar job in Asia would pay about the same (but pay less tax) working 70-110 hours a week. Companies will want value from their employees and thus will want more skills. So they see a CV with English only then you will be placed lower than somebody with multiple language skills.

Except for English teachers of course.... it is actually preferred that you are ONLY an English speaker so as to be more authentic. Or just to look the part (TCG has seen Russians teaching English in HK due to appearance sake. I had to speak Russian to the poor girl to communicate!)

Though this is dying out a bit. My friend J in HK and has been there for a decade has started to see the trend reverse. Perhaps it is because there are far too many short term travelling teachers who teach badly.

Which can sometimes result in some uber hilarity as displayed here

Mast nailing and stuff

Sorry for the general absence, but I've been generally doing things for family you know how it is, it escalates into stuff like this. And also the girlie flew in for a few days for some reason and when there is a choice between blog and boob, I'll go for the boob each time.


Just to nail my colours to the mast as I make provokative comments on other blogs.. I don't support the CCP, I don't support the UK government or ANY government. Therefore when you say my country or my government I give no endorsement to any of them. This is because all governments are non consentual and voting I believe is a sham. I believe voting is an activism sponge which prevents real change from happening. You know how we used to do it the old way, march on the capital and bring lots of rope to hang the people in power. The UK hasn't had a nice bloody revolution in ages and probably needs one as our leaders are extremely corrupt.

You know the old quote from Jefferson (the American founding forefathers were smart cookies in many respects)

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
-Thomas Jefferson

Pre and post election very little changes all that has changed is the puppet at the top is different. The things which keep things ticking over stay the same, and you are still in hock to the government. (Fiat money is the clue) Painting a government blue or red changes nothing.


Hmm wonder what'd happen if he tried that in the UK?

Oh wait we can..

27 November 2010


Face is an important part of Chinese society. The concept of Face is much simpler than it is described. Face is your reputation, how others see you as a person. Westerners tend to care little about Face in the Chinese sense. We blab about everything we do on facebook, blogs, the twitters etc and never give a damn even if its something mildly inappropriate or embarrassing. We admit our wrong doings and mistakes. For example George “Dubya” Bush publicly admitted the he had trouble with alcohol. No Chinese person would ever dare do this, as it would bring shame upon him and cause him lose face. To the Chinese, Face is like blood, it is precious and very bad to lose. Chinese people will go to great lengths to preserve face and keep the skeletons in their closet in their closet. People will go to great lengths to cover up their flaws and mistakes from the public. This may be part of the reason Asians always aim to be the best and to outperform their peers, they want to look as flawless as possible. Having a big flaw (like being terrible at math) shows that you lack face. Saying that someone has no face is a great insult. For example, you should never openly blame a Chinese person for a mistake. By attributing blame to that person, they lose face because you are saying that the mistake was made due to a flaw that person has, and losing face is a great disgrace. Face can also be treated as a commodity that can be given and earned. For example, say a father works at the post office, and his son wants a job there, the father will put in a good word for his son the office. By doing this, the father has given the son face by giving him a good reputation there even before he starts working. Face can also be salvaged before it is lost. For example, a president can make a remark that would cause him to lose face, but his spokesperson steps in and tries to justify the presidents statement. The spokesperson just salvaged the presidents face.

All in all, you just have to remember that Face = Reputation. You should also be cautious as you may cause a Chinese person to lose face without even knowing it. In 2006 when Hu Jintao visited the White House, Dubya tugged on Hu’s suit because he walked off the wrong side of the podium after a press conference. This was a source of great humiliation and loss of face for Hu, as it appeared as if Hu was a child that needed to be pulled to go to the right place. As a result, the Chinese media covered it up in order to preserve the presidents face.

25 November 2010

24 November 2010

Food part 4

Meh darned Americans! They get all the good stuff like this, while in the UK we never see anything like this

Benake gets a smack!

Wow happened faster than I thought, China/Russia are kind of tired of the US printing presses going like crazy..... looks like the trade war is on.

Unfortunately this may mean that London is also buggred too! As London is one of the middle men who scrape a % off the dollar intermidiary trades! kaboom!


St. Petersburg, Russia - China and Russia have decided to renounce the US dollar and resort to using their own currencies for bilateral trade, Premier Wen Jiabao and his Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin announced late on Tuesday.

Chinese experts said the move reflected closer relations between Beijing and Moscow and is not aimed at challenging the dollar, but to protect their domestic economies.

"About trade settlement, we have decided to use our own currencies," Putin said at a joint news conference with Wen in St. Petersburg.

The two countries were accustomed to using other currencies, especially the dollar, for bilateral trade. Since the financial crisis, however, high-ranking officials on both sides began to explore other possibilities.

The yuan has now started trading against the Russian rouble in the Chinese interbank market, while the renminbi will soon be allowed to trade against the rouble in Russia, Putin said.

"That has forged an important step in bilateral trade and it is a result of the consolidated financial systems of world countries," he said.

Putin made his remarks after a meeting with Wen. They also officiated at a signing ceremony for 12 documents, including energy cooperation.

The documents covered cooperation on aviation, railroad construction, customs, protecting intellectual property, culture and a joint communiqu. Details of the documents have yet to be released.

Putin said one of the pacts between the two countries is about the purchase of two nuclear reactors from Russia by China's Tianwan nuclear power plant, the most advanced nuclear power complex in China.

Putin has called for boosting sales of natural resources - Russia's main export - to China, but price has proven to be a sticking point.

Russian Deputy Prime Minister Igor Sechin, who holds sway over Russia's energy sector, said following a meeting with Chinese representatives that Moscow and Beijing are unlikely to agree on the price of Russian gas supplies to China before the middle of next year.

Russia is looking for China to pay prices similar to those Russian gas giant Gazprom charges its European customers, but Beijing wants a discount. The two sides were about $100 per 1,000 cubic meters apart, according to Chinese officials last week.

Wen's trip follows Russian President Dmitry Medvedev's three-day visit to China in September, during which he and President Hu Jintao launched a cross-border pipeline linking the world's biggest energy producer with the largest energy consumer.

Wen said at the press conference that the partnership between Beijing and Moscow has "reached an unprecedented level" and pledged the two countries will "never become each other's enemy".

Over the past year, "our strategic cooperative partnership endured strenuous tests and reached an unprecedented level," Wen said, adding the two nations are now more confident and determined to defend their mutual interests.

"China will firmly follow the path of peaceful development and support the renaissance of Russia as a great power," he said.

"The modernization of China will not affect other countries' interests, while a solid and strong Sino-Russian relationship is in line with the fundamental interests of both countries."

Wen said Beijing is willing to boost cooperation with Moscow in Northeast Asia, Central Asia and the Asia-Pacific region, as well as in major international organizations and on mechanisms in pursuit of a "fair and reasonable new order" in international politics and the economy.

Sun Zhuangzhi, a senior researcher in Central Asian studies at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said the new mode of trade settlement between China and Russia follows a global trend after the financial crisis exposed the faults of a dollar-dominated world financial system.

Pang Zhongying, who specializes in international politics at Renmin University of China, said the proposal is not challenging the dollar, but aimed at avoiding the risks the dollar represents.

Wen arrived in the northern Russian city on Monday evening for a regular meeting between Chinese and Russian heads of government.

He left St. Petersburg for Moscow late on Tuesday and is set to meet with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev on Wednesday.

23 November 2010

Korea news

Blah blah, North and South shoot at each other again..... and as usual China does bugger all.

Let us take a step back from all this seriousness and look at the lighter side of things.

An old article but still good. Starcraft in Korea

Makes me wonder if NK and SK had a Starcraft match who'd win?

Lies, damned lies and statistics

Hello The Chinese Fellow,

I came across your blog and really enjoyed reading it. I work at a company in Australia which has many years of business dealings with China.

one thing that I have always wondered is that how can you read Chinese business people are lying or not ? what are the clues ? how do you pick it up ?

thank you in advance!


Dear Kylie

In this cynical world, with extreme cynicism I'd be heavily tempted to say if his or her lips are moving they are lying! Much like the old jibe about politicians. However lying is normal, it is a normal psychological defence mechanism of humans. You have to differentiate between those raised in China and those outside China too. But lying is completely normal in China as part of a face saving and face giving gesture.

It is a very womanly society, whereby people drop hints via their body language.... its funny because I notice all the hints women tend to drop, which unfortunately makes me fall instantly into the friend zone with women.

I think you have to split this into face saving lies and damned lies, both are interconnected, add in the shame concept which still exists in China (for example it is shameful to receive government welfare or to fail, though of course this is changing).

Face saving lies are simple.

But time for an intermission, as this is an ideal time to insert an mildy amusing joke.

What men and women really mean!

Women's English:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

Men's English:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now!

I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before

Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I'm gay

Many foreigners go to China and do not understand the concept of face saving and think everybody in China is a dirty stinking liar and every lie is meant to defraud or harm them. But this is not true.

A face saving lie for instance is simple. For example if you go to somebodies home, somebody who is poor. It's custom to offer them tea (TCGs wild ways means he offers them addictive Korean powdered green tea). If they can't afford tea they won't say I can't afford tea. They will say something like oh we've just run out of tea may I offer you water instead? Societal norms to give face mean you aren't supposed to call them out on this lie. This even happened in Korea when I ended up staying in a Seoul shanty town. 3 beggars approached me (TCG looked like a bum 100+ days on the road with one change of clothing!) And these guys lied to me to save their face... i.e. I was invited to their home... and in doing so was to bring a gift... a massive bottle of Soju. Korean homeless is something to ask to Korean guy I kept finding shanty towns all over Korea something you don't expect.

I digress...

Or when somebody says I'm fine and they don't act all fine they mean they aren't fine.... as with the above joke. Such lies are easish to spot even for westerners after a spell. ESL teachers in China will often have children turn up late. They'll blame it on SOMETHING other than the real thing. Lots of traffic etc when the roads are deserted etc.

However you're talking about business men and business is war to many Chinese business men and women. Thus the above is just some exposition for you.

We now have damned lies. I.e. to defraud or cause harm. I'm not an expert on spotting lies or anything and you also get some damned masterful liars. Kai Lang for example who appeared on midnight poker. (He was the guy who always wore huge dark sunglasses). He was masterful and nobody could spot his incredible bluffs except when he got to the final and he had ONE hand left to play, it was do or die. He gave himself away by the copious amounts of sweat. The shysters on the Golden Mile in Hong Kong (Nathan Road) are possibly the best liars in the universe. You could plug them into a polygraph and it wouldn't even register. Bloody snakes (which incidentally is probably why people have such a bad impression of Chinese people as all the tourism spots are filled with such shysters who pick on tourists and thus give an uber negative image out).

But to spot damned lies for people raised in China it's easier than outsiders. This is partly due to one thing, that in China lying is normal and with the giving face and receiving face from people very few people will call people out on their lies. As with the tea example.

There are four things to look for:
  • Evidence, since lies are often not called out in China. Very few people will actually have backup lies to cover the first lie. Or even better will prepare evidence in support of their lies. Of course this may back fire and you end up digging a gigantic hole. OTOH my bosses in the UK have often had loads of lies to back up the original lies to make the original lie look credible. I used to be pretty bitter to him about this. As pay increases would always be soon. Or shit kid the company isn't making any money. No pay increase. He actually did his homework and created falsified accounts to prove to me. Which I knew were false because everybody tended to club together and add up their bills.
  • Body language, again calling people out is not common, thus if they get uber uncomfortable then they maybe lying.
  • The first biggie is ad hominem attacks. Where they turn it around and start to attack you for not believing their lies. In the M15 test the UK's KGB yes you read that right KGB. MI5 in their online test said one of the best defences when fingered for being a spy was to turn it around on others. This happened when Mr C attempted to rent a hot food place to me about 5 months ago. He was well dodgy. I wasn't too bothered about such personal attacks sticks and stones and all that. Which then turned into a classic defensive damned lie.
  • The second biggie. I can't remember what the word is, it is on the tip of my tongue. I'll remember some day. But it's effectively when somebody tells you. "Trust me." TCG says "never trust anybody who says trust me.
  • This will be followed by themselves going on and on about how well respected they are in the community and in their friends and family. My dad is 100% susceptible to this kind of lie as it is a variation of the above. This makes you feel guilty and foolish (apparently) and thus more suceptible to the lies. That you are such a low form of scum that you can't even trust me? When in reality nobody respects them. Mr C again attempted this on me, when it didn't work he put the phone down and phoned my dad overseas and used it on him. My dad then phoned me and told me to trust him. Because the $$$$ up for grabs was huge (think £160,000 a year) I took a chance, and got semi screwed in the process. I got the money back though after threatening him with court action as he thought I'd be ashamed to admit being screwed and thus take it on the chin. My dad has taken this on the chin many times to save his own face. It was quite funny though because he screwed me over for somebody else. That somebody else screwed him back. Which meant he lost both my business and the other person's business too and ended up with nothing. TCG had ample opportunity to gloat, but couldn't be bothered as I'd moved on.
Also I'd take note of big amounts of money, as people often let their guard down when big amounts of money are involved. This is the reason I get 10-20 419 scams daily. Also the business post a while ago. Whereby if they DON'T try to cheat you then your business and or custom to them doesn't really mean much. It is when they try to make a fast buck off you then the defrauding starts. Although this of course is a HUGE generalisation. But much like stereotypes there is *sometimes* some limited truth to them


22 November 2010

The Monday comedy slot...sort of

It's been a a while since I've actually had a big family get together. I don't mean my immediate family like my dad or my sister because they pop in and out every few months. I have little love for them (extended family) because they are deeply ad hominem and they loved to put the boot in. What I miss was a part of the 1990s. Back in the 1990s when everybody ran hot food take out places and everybody seemed to be making a ton of money. Life was so much funnier than now. What with the grande depression part 2 on us and all. The hot food places all seem rather empty. Manchester China town is deader than dead namely because the council thought it was clever to raise the parking charges to £8 an hour. How the hell can you justify £8 an hour parking? Hence everybody decided to go to out of town places in stead like Wing Yip which took advantage of this. Anyhow this is way off tangent, but what's new?

The reason why is that you don't see this any more.

As the video explains in China and Chinese society it's custom to fight over bills. The video is NOT exaggeration. Back in the 1990s when biz was good families would meet every Sunday or Tuesday eat bitch about how society was falling apart. Bitch about their children, bitch about how business was crap. Note a Chinese business man will ALWAYS say business is crap this is partly due to self preservation though. But at the end you would quite literally see parents fighting over bills. Rather than sit back and enjoy the free lunches. They would go hand to hand against each other. Since my dad's generation is of the 1970s Bruce lee picked on group in the UK, although it is a cliche almost all of them have some Wushu ability.

You would quite literally see people fight like this one handed

If you were not the one handed the bill, one hand would fend off the defender's hand and the other attempt to grab the bill. If you were the defender it was doubly hard as one hand was used to fight off the others and attempt to reach for your wallet and put the money down.

In a manner not dissimilar to how Jackie Chan defends his Chicken


Meh Halcyon days....

20 November 2010

Another world map

19 November 2010

When NO means NO!

Dreaded mail for face conscious piss poor Chinese people

It seems a lot of my contemporaries are getting married all of a sudden. TCG being the only male Representative of his family in the UK gets wedding invites. Some how they got a hold of my address. TCG hates Chinese wedding invites because they are greedy beyond belief!

In a western wedding you normally invite your mates and have a wedding list 99% of people will buy a cheapo toaster because it is cheap, quid pro quo as the married couple you throw them a massive party with food and booze to compensate for the cheapo toaster. But really this is to celebrate with the happy couple and to watch them take steps into a new life. Well thats what it is supposed to be anyway. Though marriage is going out of date anyway (here). But modern Chinese weddings are something else entirely.

Chinese weddings are different. Chinese weddings are an advanced form of avarice which utilises face and shame to extort people out of money. TCG apparently has no face in his immediate family. The devil may cry since I don't particularly care at all.

Chinese weddings the bride wears red purposely for the intents of extortion. In that a Chinese wedding is different, you invite ALL your friends AND enemies. On the invite it used to be implied to bring some money to 'give the happy family a good start in life' today the feckers specifically ask for money and put minimum amounts. Inflation is pretty rampant (anybody seen the price of gas in the UK these days? Petrol and natural gas that is I felt violated as I put in petrol into the car @ £1.23 a litre today to you Americans that's $2 a litre! or $8.50 a gallon!).

My cousin has made this extortion into an art form quite simply he gets married and divorced every 18 months and guessing by the rubbish receptions and the number of people who turn up he makes £15,000-£20,000 in profit each time.

Anyway I digress. Today wedding invites specifically state the amount of money to bring. Hence the way to maximise your profits is to hold a shitty wedding reception and to invite everybody even tenuously related to you. Common tricks to maximise profits are to hold them in shitty locations, this was lampooned in City Japes...back in 1987. Where cookie and So get married they hold it in a terrible location so people can't come. For instance in the UK most Chinese people live in Manchester/Liverpool/Birmingham/London areas. These areas contain China towns which people gravitate around. However invitations I have seen recently have been in Scotland, or even Cornwall which are by no means remote but take ages to get to.

The other way to maximise profits is to have a terrible reception. I'm actually against uber weddings the kind that cost £10000+ since it is only a one day event but then again if you expect me to give you £500. I don't expect a bowl of rice and a single big bottle of beer to share between fifty people.

The nasty thing is EVEN if you do not attend you are supposed to by custom pay the money, even if it is your mortal enemy. TCG's dad will always pay no matter what wedding because he cares about face.

TCG has struck a blow for austerity and modern attitudes though quite recently! TCG received an invite from a mortal enemy of the family and I sealed it up and put it into a post box again with rejected on the front.

Here is the nice bit. The last party I did not attend but by sheer coincidence managed to happen to be in the same building for everybody tried to do the you have no face you are an outcast! This kind of BS against me.

TCG curtly replied back..... why should I pay for a party I'm not going to, in fact why should I slave away at a job I'm not exactly in love with only to give you a big chunk of my pay cheque for nothing in return? The elders tried the BS it's only £500. As if it is a tiny amount of money. (My extended family in HK think I am loaded to the gills but they only look at my income not the expenditure. I was so tempted to say if its such a small amount of money then why don't you give me £500?). Rather than rant and rave about how £500 is not a small amount of money. I simply decided to go elsewhere to eat. But I think I felt that I generally struck a chord with the younger folks. Since the younger folks don't make much money themselves.

Meh, they had to use me as the hatchet man to plant such seeds of doubt into ridiculous traditions. But I suppose I've always had a minor talent to be able to capture the feeling of a crowd. This is bad because it is a charactoristic shared by nut jobs you know like Hitler! Or Stalin

But seriously.... the excuse, because it has always been this way no longer cuts it any more.

People in China (if they can read this) or HK will probably gasp OMG what a punk! Somebody should show him some manners and respect......but seriously guys do you really like paying shit wads of money for this kind of thing?

Yes? Then keep on paying then.

No? Then say no like I do.

16 November 2010

On the subject of 50cent

TCG doesn't have much love for 50cent. And his 50 cent post may well have given some unfair advertising to 50 cent.

I do however like one or two tracks from this group. Probably as I was always wondering what was that tune in a local sandwich shop.

Central digit, which have their albums free to download here

Boeing and Airbus are gonna be pissed

China has unveiled it's natively designed, manufactured and materials sourced aircraft the C919 with 194 seats.


Well thats airbus and Boeing buggered then isn't it!

ass hats 2

People in China just have no sense of humour... I mean FFS, a bunch of blokes get drunk and they decide to pull a prank on him...

What pray tell was this prank? They stuck an eel up his ass which ended up killing him.

Double Face Palm

I'm sorry but what the hell happed to funny and non harmful practical jokes like we used to play on each other in the past?

Or this?

14 November 2010

Monday comedy spot

TCG is tired therefore will leave you with a few cats

50 cent?

Dear Chinese bloke.

Are 50 cent'ers real? Do they really exist? Or is it just a load of bollocks?


Dear Berdn.

Tbh I am not entirely sure. Btw for those who don't know what 50 centers are they are not fans of the famous rapper above no no they are something entirely different. The story goes that there is an army of 200,000-500,000 of them. They go around and make pro china posts and make posts which are an antithesis of ANY criticism of the CCP. For this they are paid 50cents US per post. Incidentally the TCG wishes he was paid 50 cents per post, by now I would probably have enough for a case of beer. It is alleged that scour the online universe and will attack, flame and go all ad hominem mostly on websites found in China hoping to drown out views which the CCP does not like. But are also spreading to the wider Internet to propagate their propaganda wars.

However I suspect that such an operation does exist in China to make the CCP look good. I mean think about it, in western economies and societies we have something called astroturfing. The British Labour party in power from 1997-2010 had no need to do this when they first got into power. But then they reneged on their promises and their popularity dropped like a stone. Thus there were carefully controlled media events. Such as this

Or the terrorist heckler incident Walter Wolfgang who was arrested by heavies as a terrorist.

Or when the labour party was caught editing Wikipedia to put themselves under a better light. Even the New Zealand government is involved with these sorts of astroturfing activities. They were even caught astroturfing support being totally pro ID cards here.

Hell the UK government even cheats in elections! With fraudulent postal voting or surprise snow ball in hell type events happen here. Heh no surprise that Labour wanted Diebold machines 'to encourage higher voter turn out."

So I ask you if an apparent free 'Representative democracy'* (It's not but I put this rather than explaining what it really is as it would take reams of time and space). Does such things to artificially generate support or will artificially do this to give the impression of support. Then why would China and the CCP be above this level of deception themselves?

However it is most probably not how the media portrays it.

hey comrade!

Taken from CH4's Britain's trillion pound debt horror..... and Britain has the gall to call China communist!

The full hour version is here


Non UK people may not be able to see this due to blocking type arrangements of youtube. I would note however that the video is a tad polemic. Since the miracle of Hong Kong is over egged massively. It ignores the uber poverty which is hidden away in HK and how low wages can get in HK.

13 November 2010

Nothing to do with China

As the above title.

But spectacularly awesome anyway.

There are laws against this kind of thing

I've said it once, I've said it loads of times actually.

China has laws, but lots of them are disregarded as optional. For instance China has 'tough' anti discriminatory laws. This is important because our old bud Deng Xiaoping and his famous speech which he plagiarised from a Sichian poem.

No matter if it is a white cat or a black cat; as long as it can catch mice, it is a good cat.
Which is essentially bull shit. Much like the posters in the Beijing military museum. They all say Chen Kai Shek was evil and that only the Chinese communist party stood for human rights and democracy. It's pretty laughable really. Note Chen kai Shek WAS evil btw that doesn't mean that Mao and the CCP are not evil either as both parties can be evil. As demonstrated by the events of the KMT going to Taiwan called the white terror and the imposition of Martial law in Taiwan which lasted 39 years.

Anyway, the anti discrimination law is pretty much bollocks because certain colours of people are demanded for different jobs. ESL teachers for instance almost have to be Caucasian, Job adverts actively used to say, whites only. Today they get around this by saying attach a photo on your job application. Although this may seem like a good thing to certain colours of people this isn't as good as it sounds! Because you have no career progressions possible as they don't like Laowai as management or anything above the bottom rungs.

Anyway I digress.

New case law has come about in China which yet again proves China's laws are pretty much bollocks.

For older members anybody remember the Tom Hanks film Philadelphia?

A similar case has occur ed in China whereby a teacher who is/has HIV has been denied work. China has strong laughable laws on discrimination. Which says this sort of thing isn't kosher. But when put to the test what happens? The law fails completely.

Read about it here

TCG btw has no real stance on HIV though in that these people are still people, and it's even more shitty if you catch it through no fault of your own. In fact one of my dad's heroes who Art Ashe died as a result of this. He was my dad's hero because my dad in the 1980s won a huge wedge of money from betting on him.

For the Americans.

China is a repressive totalitarian state...

Hmm replace the word China with the name of another country.....

Religion in China

Hi Chinese Guy.

I want to know if it is true that religion is illegal in China? I've seen television shows where it shows religious people being persecuted. Are these things true or not?


Dear Casey

Religion in China is a complicated matter. The CCP party in China since it's foundation discouraged religion and religious activities. Officially because it was atheist but in reality because it believed religion was a dangerous alternative credo to communism. Despite this, people in China continued to practise their religious beliefs traditional stuff like ancestry worship and Buddhism were generally ignored and little action was taken against religious types. Then Mao managed to mess up the Chinese economy big time. The great leap forward steel making experiment. The famines etc left the CCP in a weakened state as people lost the faith, people started questioning the CCP. Mao's solution to this was the cultural revolution where crack downs and persecution really did exist. Such that people pretended to be atheists or did their religious activities behind closed doors. During the Cultural Revolution of the 1960s, large-scale religious persecutions were carried out and thousands of temples and churches destroyed. Which is why most temples in China are actually replicas as they were rebuilt after some smart so and so realised they could be used as tourist traps.

This changes in the 1980s though with Deng Xiaoping. Simply once he had wrestled power from the rest of the CCP, he introduced doubt..

"You know guys, what we've been doing hasn't really been working so maybe we should try something different?"

Thus in 1982, the constitution was amended to allow Chinese people some overt freedom of religion. Thus in China you can practice any of the mainstream and less mainstream religions in China. However it is like talking about the CCP, doing it behind doors in your home and in cafes etc is fine. Standing on a soapbox and proclaiming and preaching to others is most definitely NOT ok. TCG feels ambivalence towards this as TCG is target for militant converters in town centres. Muslims, Christians, Baptists etc will all approach me and attempt to save my soul. This is deeply irritating and has led to nigh on beatings as I joke about their religions this is no longer allowed in the UK as freedom of speech is severely curtailed in the UK. People who joke about things on twitter are now considered terrorists. On Wednesday a guy joked about a journalist who should be stoned to death. He was arrested for this comment. It's funny not in a comical way that in the UK we now have to watch what we say. While in the past we would make disparaging comments about politicians that they should be shot. This isn't allowed anymore.... how ironic eh?

There are three big religions in China, Daoism, Confucianism, ancestor worship and Buddhism. Islam and Christianity are also but present in smaller numbers in China despite the huge number of obvious missionary looking types all over the country. (They look like Micheal Douglas in falling down)

There is however one exception, cults. This is shared amongst many countries. For example :

USA - The Waco siege. Where the ATF went up against the Brach Dravidian's.
UK - Al Macaroon(sp?) Which was a sub sect of Islam. Was banned and their leaders arrested as terrorists. There are many examples even set ups. But this is a debate for another time.
China of course has Falun Gong.

The CCP is very anti cult, except for their own cult of Mao personality and their own cult of power. Look at how awesome we are in China type thing. This is like the above where governments simply don't like cults and also it stems from history. As cults tend to

The government is still anti-'cult'. This stems from the large numbers of cults which helped to bring down past Chinese governments - the divine fists (Boxers) for instance The communists are suspicious of any group that could claim people's loyalty. Thus Falun Gong remains banned.

So if you go to China as a religious type, its not as if they'll kick down your door and send you to the Laogai for practicing your religion. Preaching on the other hand will get you into trouble. Except maybe the cult of money which is WIDELY practiced in China.

Lampooned in the film Armor of God (A 1980s Jackie Chan film)


All your base are belong to us prt2

Again with the China thing....

Why are these companies so suicidal? In that if you cut jobs in the UK and move them overseas, then they merely end up destroying their consumer base. TCG for one will not be buying anything related to the Olympics.... ok granted I NEVER buy anything related to the Olympics but still.

12 November 2010

Chinese women prt 1219

Hey Chinese guy,

What do you think about bringing over a spouse from China. I'm getting serious about this girl in China?

Your input and suggestion is greatly appreciated!

Kinda of nervous about a long distance relationship guy from the USA


Dear M.

My thoughts on this are varied (whats new). As there are many potential outcomes in how this may well pan out. I've seen many of these outcomes and how they pan out too, it can be like people. People can be good bad or ordinary.

What I've seen however tends to urk me towards the bad side, perhaps why I am so cynical these days as many women from China saw me as a meal ticket.... TCG used to be hot stuff and girls would ask me for a date fully with the intention of getting a UK passport. Many of these women were quite transparent about it. Some of them would even offer me $25,000 US to marry me with a sham wedding to get a UK passport. I never took them up on these offers because I never really wanted to be married. Being married also opens you up to red packet extortion. It was so incredibly freaky as if dinner dates, which I'd tend to pay the bill and tell her there was no chance at all. They would talk to me as if it were some kind of interview. Phases such as.
"As long as you provide me with a good home for me and our future children I don't care. You can go out and sleep with as many other women as you want as long as you keep a good home."

This put me off massively. Though with the UK going down the tubes this is happening rather less and less, which I don't mind as regular dinner dates in Asia rack up in cost quite quickly. TCG isn't as evil as he could have been i.e. jumped into the sack with them THEN said LJBF. But TCG isn't as evil as he imagines.

Alice for instance was a rural girl from China who didn't have a pot to piss in. She married and now lives in the UK off him. He works as a fairly well paid electrical contractor. He is however ugly, think car crash head jammed in an elevator and toxic crusader type ugly I jest not! Who is severely overweight, think 350lb type overweight. All my women friends find him absolutely repulsive to the extreme. However he knows he is being exploited by her, but he sits back and enjoys getting to jump in the sack with her on a regular basis as a form of 'payment'. Which is kind of like a prostitution kind of arrangement. She actually sleeps around behind his back and once asked me into the sack at a party... I kind of wonder if they'll be together in 3 years time as she will have naturalised and gotten a UK passport, ergo he is no longer of any use.

OTOH, Boscoe one of my dad's friends sons' he is an airline pilot who married a girl from Chongqing and their relationship seems to be pretty much what you would find in a average British house hold. There is attraction and loyalty, both of them work as well even though Boscoe makes enough for both of them to live.

Also at the other extreme is mostly from Russia actually, in that although news papers sensationalise back in the early 00s there were many ex USSR brides. This was because the Ex USSR countries like Ukraine, Moldova etc didn't have a pot to piss in. Such that women would try to get away. This was art imitating life in the film Birthday Girl.

Back in the day there were many stories of Russian Brides who would vanish the second they landed in Heathrow. I do not know the extent of the reality of this vs fiction.

Anyway lets step away from this a bit and go to one of my uber random tangents.

China is pretty shit if you are one of the natives. I wrote somewhere in my book that most countries are not great if you are a native of that country. Looking as an outsider it looks nice or working as an expat. For instance lets say Korea. To the ESL types who work there they think it is excellent. They have free accommodation they get paid a ton more than the locals and their working days are not as long as the locals. None of this is the case with the local Korean folks, they work insane hours. Kim for instance left the flat at 530am, and returned at 11pm EVERYDAY. He was paid a pittance (min wage in Korea is reputed to be around 2000-4000KRW which is £1.50 or $2.30). Life is expensive property is unaffordable and the constant need to keep face honor and respect restricts your life.

In China life for many men and women is pretty shit. Rock and a hard place seems to be an apr cliche expression to use here. I mean as a man you have limited options. You become an ant and work for the big corporates where you are systematically exploited and robbed for your pay. Or you go to university to fight for a government position and 9/10 times end up as an ant. If you are lucky you may work in an office. It's the way the system has been organised. this is by design.

The television dreams we had as children are as remote in China as they are back in our respective home countries.

A la Fight club philosophy (have a read of the book it is quite interesting)

The same choices exist for women, but for two more, they can become working girls to actually get out of the ant system. This is why Hong Kong and Macau especially are filled with working girls from China. You can't swing a dead cat in Mongkok without some douche approaching you and asking you if you want suckiee. You might think I'm joking but this really does happen. Macau is even worse! As mass prostitution is legal in Macau it is overt and in your face. The other final option they have is to marry off outside to somewhere else to not be an ant or to be a working girl.

How is this pertinent to you?

Well this girl could be any of the above, and tbh it usually takes an outsider to see what's going on, as men are suckers and can be blinded by women easily.

My suggestion is probably to merely take a vacation/ holiday and see her response. It is akin to merely buying a drink, if it turns out bad its just a drink. While marriage has HUUUUGE consequences.

Also to consider her motivations rationally, look at yourself in the mirror are you a fat ugly slob who would under other circumstances be unable to pull a girl of her attraction? TCG is no oil painting and therefore Chinese girls wanting to marry me it was pretty obvious (aside from them being totally blunt about it) they were not after my Adonis like body (yeah right)

Ask in depth what her plans for the future will be, ignore the I wanna be with you etc type ones that massage your ego and deflect attention away. Assess her current circumstances, if she is rich or has a rich family then the exploitation angle chance is lower. Consider WHAT she would do if she were not to go to the USA. Would she merely end up as an ant or happens to have a fairly decent job there? Call her bluff, maybe pretend to want to settle in CHINA and gauge her reactions. Age plays a factor in this too, in Asia once you hit 30 NOBODY wants you, and people tend to settle. As I've said in many previous posts there is a huge pressure to get married at a youngish age.

Have a serious think about it with your head rationally and see if it makes sense.

And for women readers, the same pretty much applies to any men you may meet out there too!

All your base..

An old meme...

From Zero Wing which was on the megadrive, THE console to have in the 1980s before the Super Nintendo came along.

Quite curiously from my office window where I can see a useless wind turbine which has not moved for the 2 months I've worked there. I can also see some new houses being put up and it looks like this.

11 November 2010

Currency Wars


09 November 2010

Yet another ask blog

This time from Saaf Afrika as we call it in the UK. Which is nice I suppose because these things come from Saaf Afrika.

The link is here

It's all China fault part 2

Which sums pretty much what I've been saying for a while now. If you are in the USA buy made in USA. UK buy made in UK! And stop buying the shit that comes out of China these days. Stop supporting the companies say Walmart which send American jobs overseas. Although in the short term it may well cost you a few more $$. In the long term those $$ you save are at the cost of some other poor sod's job. TCG is of course not exactly innocent in this, using his dell (made in Ireland though) and a Toshiba as well as riding a Japanese motorbike. However at least the people and factories in Japan are at a similar living standard and wage level.

On that note this may well correct itself over time, seeing as China's economy has only benefited the few (quelle surprise) look at the Gini coefficient and China looks like an M shaped society. Which TBH can only end in drowning in inflation as the large numbers of Chinese exploited demand more money and want part of the pie. Just like their Korean, Japanese and Taiwanese fellows had. Or you get civil strife.

Colors in Chinese Culture

Colors also carry much superstition in China. The meaning of certain colors is completely different from their western interpretations.
Red (hóng)
Red is the cultural color of the Chinese people. It symbolises fire, vitality, happiness and celebration. It can be seen everywhere during Chinese New Year and other important holidays


Yellow (huáng)
Yellow is the color of beauty and nobility. I suppose this another instance of Sino-ethnocentrism, calling themselves a “yellow people” is like calling themselves beautiful. Yellow is a color of power and wealth because it is the color of gold, the Emperors throne was often decorated with yellow.


Green (綠 lǜ)
Green is the color of health, well being, springtime and harmony. Not too different from the west.


Blue (lán)
Blue is a symbol of immortality or long life.

Black (hēi)
Black in Chinese culture is very odd. In the west, black is associated with evil, darkness, and depression. But in China it is actually associated with water and heaven. In the I Ching, water corresponds with the color black.

Pink (粉紅 Fěnhóng) or just (粉 Fěn)
The characters literally mean “powder red”. Pink is not a gendered color in China. Pink is seen as a shade of red, which as stated above, is a good color.

White (白 Bái)
White is the color of death and mourning. Referring the paleness of a dead body. In contrast to the west were it is seen as a color of purity and innocence. Never I repeat NEVER wear white in China. White is only to be exhibited during a funeral and when mourning the dead.

In general, brighter colors are usually good (except for white). Darker colors tend to be neutral to negative in meaning.