Stop Wal-Mart from Destroying Chinatown

Note: If you are new here, read this then this, first.

Great movie btw

Chinatown LA is under threat by the economic monster known as Wal-Mart, who wants to open a new store in Chinatown.

Chinatowns are a Mecca of prospering small business, and Wal-Mart destroys small business. Not only that, but Wal-Mart has been linked to increased poverty, exploitation of workers and other nasty things.

It is without a doubt that Wal-Mart will completely destroy one of the largest cultural and ethnic enclaves in the United States by ripping out the heart of its economy.

Visit the oppositions tumblr page and sign the petition to show Wal-Mart they're not wanted!

Lies, damned lies and statistics

Hello The Chinese Fellow,


I came across your blog and really enjoyed reading it. I work at a company in Australia which has many years of business dealings with China.

one thing that I have always wondered is that how can you read Chinese business people are lying or not ? what are the clues ? how do you pick it up ?


thank you in advance!


Kylie


Dear Kylie

In this cynical world, with extreme cynicism I'd be heavily tempted to say if his or her lips are moving they are lying! Much like the old jibe about politicians. However lying is normal, it is a normal psychological defence mechanism of humans. You have to differentiate between those raised in China and those outside China too. But lying is completely normal in China as part of a face saving and face giving gesture.

It is a very womanly society, whereby people drop hints via their body language.... its funny because I notice all the hints women tend to drop, which unfortunately makes me fall instantly into the friend zone with women.

I think you have to split this into face saving lies and damned lies, both are interconnected, add in the shame concept which still exists in China (for example it is shameful to receive government welfare or to fail, though of course this is changing).

Face saving lies are simple.

But time for an intermission, as this is an ideal time to insert an mildy amusing joke.

What men and women really mean!
	Women's English: Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I'm sorry = You'll be sorry We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now Do what you want = You'll pay for this later We need to talk = I need to complain Sure go ahead = I don't want you to I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]		Men's English: I'm hungry = I'm hungry I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy I'm tired = I'm tired Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you Nice dress! = Nice cleavage! You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now? What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question I'm bored = Do you want to have sex? I love you = Let's have sex now! I love you, too = Okay, I said it, Now can we have sex Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex? Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I'm gay

Many foreigners go to China and do not understand the concept of face saving and think everybody in China is a dirty stinking liar and every lie is meant to defraud or harm them. But this is not true.

A face saving lie for instance is simple. For example if you go to somebodies home, somebody who is poor. It's custom to offer them tea (TCGs wild ways means he offers them addictive Korean powdered green tea). If they can't afford tea they won't say I can't afford tea. They will say something like oh we've just run out of tea may I offer you water instead? Societal norms to give face mean you aren't supposed to call them out on this lie. This even happened in Korea when I ended up staying in a Seoul shanty town. 3 beggars approached me (TCG looked like a bum 100+ days on the road with one change of clothing!) And these guys lied to me to save their face... i.e. I was invited to their home... and in doing so was to bring a gift... a massive bottle of Soju. Korean homeless is something to ask to Korean guy I kept finding shanty towns all over Korea something you don't expect.

I digress...

Or when somebody says I'm fine and they don't act all fine they mean they aren't fine.... as with the above joke. Such lies are easish to spot even for westerners after a spell. ESL teachers in China will often have children turn up late. They'll blame it on SOMETHING other than the real thing. Lots of traffic etc when the roads are deserted etc.

However you're talking about business men and business is war to many Chinese business men and women. Thus the above is just some exposition for you.

We now have damned lies. I.e. to defraud or cause harm. I'm not an expert on spotting lies or anything and you also get some damned masterful liars. Kai Lang for example who appeared on midnight poker. (He was the guy who always wore huge dark sunglasses). He was masterful and nobody could spot his incredible bluffs except when he got to the final and he had ONE hand left to play, it was do or die. He gave himself away by the copious amounts of sweat. The shysters on the Golden Mile in Hong Kong (Nathan Road) are possibly the best liars in the universe. You could plug them into a polygraph and it wouldn't even register. Bloody snakes (which incidentally is probably why people have such a bad impression of Chinese people as all the tourism spots are filled with such shysters who pick on tourists and thus give an uber negative image out).

But to spot damned lies for people raised in China it's easier than outsiders. This is partly due to one thing, that in China lying is normal and with the giving face and receiving face from people very few people will call people out on their lies. As with the tea example.

There are four things to look for:

• Evidence, since lies are often not called out in China. Very few people will actually have backup lies to cover the first lie. Or even better will prepare evidence in support of their lies. Of course this may back fire and you end up digging a gigantic hole. OTOH my bosses in the UK have often had loads of lies to back up the original lies to make the original lie look credible. I used to be pretty bitter to him about this. As pay increases would always be soon. Or shit kid the company isn't making any money. No pay increase. He actually did his homework and created falsified accounts to prove to me. Which I knew were false because everybody tended to club together and add up their bills.

• Body language, again calling people out is not common, thus if they get uber uncomfortable then they maybe lying.

• The first biggie is ad hominem attacks. Where they turn it around and start to attack you for not believing their lies. In the M15 test the UK's KGB yes you read that right KGB. MI5 in their online test said one of the best defences when fingered for being a spy was to turn it around on others. This happened when Mr C attempted to rent a hot food place to me about 5 months ago. He was well dodgy. I wasn't too bothered about such personal attacks sticks and stones and all that. Which then turned into a classic defensive damned lie.

• The second biggie. I can't remember what the word is, it is on the tip of my tongue. I'll remember some day. But it's effectively when somebody tells you. "Trust me." TCG says "never trust anybody who says trust me.

• This will be followed by themselves going on and on about how well respected they are in the community and in their friends and family. My dad is 100% susceptible to this kind of lie as it is a variation of the above. This makes you feel guilty and foolish (apparently) and thus more suceptible to the lies. That you are such a low form of scum that you can't even trust me? When in reality nobody respects them. Mr C again attempted this on me, when it didn't work he put the phone down and phoned my dad overseas and used it on him. My dad then phoned me and told me to trust him. Because the $$$$ up for grabs was huge (think £160,000 a year) I took a chance, and got semi screwed in the process. I got the money back though after threatening him with court action as he thought I'd be ashamed to admit being screwed and thus take it on the chin. My dad has taken this on the chin many times to save his own face. It was quite funny though because he screwed me over for somebody else. That somebody else screwed him back. Which meant he lost both my business and the other person's business too and ended up with nothing. TCG had ample opportunity to gloat, but couldn't be bothered as I'd moved on.

Also I'd take note of big amounts of money, as people often let their guard down when big amounts of money are involved. This is the reason I get 10-20 419 scams daily. Also the business post a while ago. Whereby if they DON'T try to cheat you then your business and or custom to them doesn't really mean much. It is when they try to make a fast buck off you then the defrauding starts. Although this of course is a HUGE generalisation. But much like stereotypes there is *sometimes* some limited truth to them

TCG

Its all China's fault?

I get hate mail now and again blaming China constantly for the worlds ills economically that is.... and to an extent they have a point as China has the ability to manipulate its currency and keep living standards low for its people. RMB are in effect proxy dollars these days and the lack of social care means the saving rate is incredible.

There are also still 600 million people who are rural poor who can be used to replace those who demand higher wages. Thus the cycle will continue and probably end in tears. Much like a drug dealer it is bad business for your customers to die in the short term.

But then the USA manipulates its currency too printing endless numbers of dollars, I could write all day about it...

However you did it to yourselves as the video implies a future outcome. In that it is simply demand, in that if people in the USA simply refused to buy the stuff made in China boycotting organisations which destroyed American jobs for Chinese slave labour then the USA wouldn't be in hock to China for 850bn.

Korean Koreans who live in Korea for instance absolutely refuse to buy anything made in Japan, Sony, Nikkon, Honda and Toyota. But in Seoul all the cars were Korean, Hyundais, Ssayonngs Daewoo etc. The motorbikes were all Hyosung or Dalem. Koreans would give me the evil eye regularly while I was riding in down town Seoul on a Japanese motorbike (XT600E) . You have a Sony Phone? Every piece of consumer electronics I saw in Korea was made by LG, Samsung etc. even the xray machine I was strapped into in a clinic. This means Japanese products have zilch market in Korea. Hell their KTX is based on French technology instead of the obvious Japanese tech nearby!

A similar thing happens in Japan where Korean products have little market there too, they tend to buy Sony, Nikkon Toyota etc.

France.... mostly see french cars, Germany mostly German cars.

Therefore if it wasn't for everybody there creating the demand for this cheap stuff from China you wouldn't be in the economic troubles you are in now. I mean a t-shirt or a pair of socks may well cost a couple of $ (TCG at the weekend saw a pair of trousers at £1.25!). But the cost is more than the sticker price! Of course there is a certain irony to this being that when people are short on money the imported stuff is so incredibly tempting.

But just spare a thought for a moment as to what the longer term costs are...

What I like about China

The thing about China I like is that it is ruled by engineers and doers. NOT accountants. This means that massive projects that cost a shed load of money which are absolutely audacious are done. Ok so you get some shitty projects like the 3 gorges dam which was badly miscalculated. I was saying this in the 1990s and old people to me told TCG shut the fuck up! You are just a child older people know better. How they eat humble pie these days. However the CCP HAS to do this as Mao promised to do this sometime in 1952 and 60 years later its still not finished.

The USSR partially managed to do this in the 1960s which caused the drying of the Aral sea in Kazakhstan so it is more like a lake these days. However they merely diverted some rivers. China instead intends to reverse some of its rivers and plumb them in to a different location. Kind of like what the USSR wanted to do with the River Ob in Siberia (I've been past this river in Siberia and it goes doe 100s of miles) But the great South North Water project is underway and its cost $62bn so far and costs are set to escalate!

Read more about it here

However its not the project that inspires me its the fact that an engineer can go to China sit in with the CCP and show him what he wants to build and there is a fair old chance the CCP will say YES built it NOW! Instead of the UK where an engineer wants to build something great and they sigh and say nope the budget can't take it... But never mind we can give all the money to the bankers instead.!

Happened faster than everybody thought

Here

Still there is the uber problem of the Chinese economy overheating, as internal consumption rises to fill the gap between lost exports, this means internal inflation. But inflation means China is less competitive, economies of scale and all that rely on uber thin margins.

Interesting times?

Selling a businesses in Australia

Dear TCG

I have been reading a lot about Chinese business investors looking to purchase property and businesses in Australia to start a new life and for better education for their children. How do I market a small-to-medium business for sale to prospective Chinese business investors? What is the best Chinese media to advertise foreign businesses for sale? Or do I use the help of a Chinese business brokers or bank managers with contact with prospective business investors? Any help would be much appreciated.

Thank you,
Den


Dear Den.

I can only speak through personal experience and that of my wider family. But this is a wide question in that it depends what kind of business it is actually. In that in the 1970s the favourite unskilled business venture was hot food. Now hot food is crowded to hell it is not so viable anymore.

However there is one thing HPC will hate me for this but Chinese are generally Rentier Capitalists which are by and large considered to be parasites. This is pretty obvious in Hong Kong where many people want property not to live in but to rent to other people. Take for example Li Ka Shing He is the wealthiest man in HK and his business interest are nearly all rentier capitalistic ideas. He makes Yip Kai Foon look like a saint.

It is even more obvious in China where there are 10000000s of empty properties hoovered up by the wealthy middle class to rent out to the slaves.... I mean lower paid workers. I suppose they do this because inflation is insane in China. I remember it being 8.5% CPI in Hong Kong in 2007. People think about it and think well it is the only thing which tracks wages and inflation lets buy it.

This is of course not limited to Chinese people. British by and large are people are rentier capitalists, where they over leverage themselves and buy buy buy property restricting supply and think they can rent out to people and sit on their fat asses and do nothing. Way back in the 1990s it wasn't so bad to rent, but today its horrible. Amateur landlords expecting you to pay the mortgage and think they have you by the balls. To top it all of the governments hurt us with low interest rates and uber inflation to bail them out.

A quick cynic's word list for you.

Mark EBITDA = Earnings Before I Tricked the Dumb Auditor.
EBIT = Earnings Before Irregularities and Tampering.
CEO = Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO = Corporate Fraud Officer.
NAV = Normal Andersen Valuation.
EPS = Eventual Prison Sentence.
FRS Fantasy Reporting Standards
P/E Parole Entitlement

Anyway where was I....

I could tell you all sorts of dirty things I've seen in accountancy, but my old bosses will probably send assassins. Actually I moved house twice since I last worked for him.... a Korean guy moved into my old place though.... well if I find him dead....



However this is based on my experiences only and therefore may not be indicative of how things really are.

The problem for you is the Chinese capable of moving in such a manner are pretty bloody savvy, though some of the Migrants from the Chinese earth quake aren't. In the UK they have a close to 100% business failure rate. The dragon warlord wok, emperors kitchen, or whatever its called these days, a local place to me for example has changed hands 12 times in 4 years it is that bad! Though this is convenient for me because I can plaster and refurbish and get the odd bit of work on the side.

This may be indicative that simply business times are not as easy as before. When my dad opened his shop in 197x there were no competitors in his town and he made a fuck load of money. He managed to put the local bookie's sons through university (my dad is funny because he actually went to Holland first but realised there was no horse racing there and decided to go to the UK, probably why my dad is a freak who has a Dutch passport my family is freaky like that)

But marketing to Chinese people you shouldn't really go through the mainstream media, exclusively, people who aren't savvy in reading English will say hey Son can you read this for me? At which the son or daughter who is demotivated to do it will do it for them half hearted as they know they'll be used as labour for the place. Anyway a lot of business and house sales I've seen are by way of introduction. People use the Guanxi to sell people stuff. For instance a local shop round here did not sell for 5 years,. It was listed on pretty big agencies but nobody touched it.

After the git who sold it made friends with my dad, my dad introduced him to Benson, who introduced him to the sucker purchaser who ended up buying the place. Similarly my dad also has only ever bought places by way of introduction. Same thing with my uncles and aunts too. Therefore you need to try and get connected, now this is much easier said that done. My dad's connections run deep first in HK where he went to school with everybody (a fairly easy thing since 1950s HK had massive class sizes) and also in the UK. He was the king of moonshine vodka in the South West. Though he regrets this because this had negative outcomes on his best friend in Cornwall.

The other component is NEVER EVER EVER^1000 advertise your business as mature and cruising along. Chinese people I've met like to expand and a lot of them I have met will secretly think hey this place has potential for me to expand into it. A common British trick when selling a hot food place to sucker convince other Chinese to buy a place is to simply stop selling Chinese meals. Or pretend to anyway. The mark buyer sees this and thinks hey I could put Chinese meals in or add in delivery to it and therefore make more money than they are making now.

But I suppose this is a vulnerability of all humans.

Some points which go nowhere else.

Chinese are going to be very superstitious therefore will not want to buy places numbered 4 are opposite cemetaries, churches etc and will want to buy on days with the number 8 in the day. For instance the shop sale recently here they purposedly kicked it into the long grass to be bought at 8am 8th of August.

There is a big mentality of if it's too cheap there must be something wrong with it, I recall a few items from the SCMP where shops increased prices and sales went up. Which goes against basic economic theory!


Wait I never finished this post and drifted off on a tangent arguing with somebody who stated the USN must start bombing China.

Where was I...

Yes to get connections is difficult since getting them often requires you to be friends for ages so they will judge your character properly. Which presents big problems and if you just start showing up to Chinese associations people will see right through you.

Maybe offer a % commission not a massive amount to a well trusted Chinese businessman to sell it on or something, remember money makes people drop their principles, they'll be sceptical about it initially, but again such relationships are hard to build. For instance A of a certain firm wants me to give him my contacts, these are relationships fostered over decades. My dad's even longer therefore my dad is really iffy about helping him out as if his name is dirt he won't be a happy camper!

Gossip might work though, HK Chinese are obsessed with it, my friend working in an office there made a throw away comment, yeah shit I've got to go to the doctor. End of the day the whole office knew about it. Though this is probably a consequence of HK being not a great place to live therefore they need something to make their lives look better. I.e. a take out place or a Chinese businessman you've been working with for a while. You can mention the fact that you're tired to hell, because of working or can't get staff or whatever or you'r injured.
"I gotta sell this place I mean its making me money but I'm too tired to do this anymore." is a common one.

Feng Shui

Dear TCG,

What is Feng Shui and how does it work?

Kevin B




Dear Kevin

Feng Shui

Is a form of mysticism which some people believe in and some people don't.

Essentially the gib is supposed to be that you can improve energy flow of Chi by moving things around, the critical thing is have no sharp objects or edges pointing at you like ceiling lights and stuff like that. I mean it is just common sense right? In your car you have a steering wheel which does not have a sharp spike sticking out of it right?

Though you know this would increase road safety so much, and it'd stop all my friends being killed while biking.

A really bad Feng Shui type of bed to have. Even if it is on sale.

However TCG's dad puts it much better, if it looks neat and tidy to the eye then it has good Fung Shui. I.e. if your home doesn't look like level 7 out of contra (in the UK we call this probotechor)



My personal belief is that it is semi psychosomatic. The mind being the most powerful organ in the body can change things psychologically.

It is one of those things people consult JUST in case. You know the kind, in the UK we've had loads of fuel shortages due to protesters blockading the refineries. You always get some smart arse who says we are all suckers for panic buying petrol.. When he himself gets home he goes and buys some petrol JUST in case he needs it. Or the people who don't believe in bad luck yet refuse to walk under ladders or take a baseball bat to a mirror.

Which is why it still has a place in modern day Chinese life. People consult such things just in case, as doing it and practicing it costs relatively little compared to the negative outcomes which can occur. In ALL Chinese villages you'll have a second hand tale about somebody not consulting a local shyster the feng Shui man and falling on hard luck.

Though Chinese people can be somewhat gullible, for instance there was a Taoist master who performed a complex ritual for a HK model to change her luck. Which involved sex some people have called fuckshui quite recently a few people in HK being tricked into buying perpetual motion machines. However considering 419 scams are still landing in my email boxes everyday there is a sucker born everyday.

Big buildings and such like also have such a master come take a look and give advice. I mean you're going to give him $2000HK or so, when your building is going to cost $100 million HK the $2000 is insignificant.

Hey man this building's gonna cost us $1billion US$, think we should pay off this bloke claiming to be a Feng Shui master his $10000 fee?


Ordinary people see this happening and copy them. As they must have done something right to become wealthy.

Follow the more successful thief and steal his ideas. - "The Book of Cataclysm"

On the other hand people can use it to extort the government too! In Hong Kong villages on Feng Shui grounds denied the HK government permission to build a radar system for HKG airport. What they really meant is we want bigger compensation packages for having a big radar system in our village. The HK government told them to get lost and decided to cancel it till 2015.


Though this is somewhat at odds with the generally held idea that in some areas of China that fortune and luck are what matter above hard work, qualifications and talent (TCG is writing a book in collaboration with others about this keep your eyes peeled).

What some clever so and so in the 1990s thought of was applying this to western cultures. In that hey look those Chinese folks tend to live longer than us. It must be something they do (forgetting stuff like diet, work and psychological support though in truth I think this generation of Chinese ants are going to die much younger than their parents and grandparents). And they built a whole industry around it selling books, advice etc.

In the UK such people are considered to be entertainers the UK government recognises them as entertainers because they need to buy entertainment permits before being allowed to 'practice'.

All of this changed a small superstition in Chinese society into a whole industry which gives out inconsistent advice and has no industry standards. Penn and Teller exposed this when they asked several people who were said to be masters and all of them gave inconsistent advice.

Therefore to me it is a mere curiosity and I take it like my dad says, as long as it looks neat to the eye it is good. Which works for me just find since I live like a bum and live under a big stack of papers everywhere for the work I do. But because there are no sharp edges it's A-OK!

Bonza!

Gems of Chinatown: Pearl River Market

Its not often I have the chance to go into Manhattan. But when I do I always make sure to stop by Chinatown. One of my favorite places to visit is the Pearl River Market.

Their story, from their website:

Everything from lanterns to clothing to furniture to lighting to musical instruments to wedding dresses, you can find all of it in this tiny, two story department store in the middle of the Big Apple. All of what they sell is handmade and authentic, the kind of goods China was known for prior to the Opium Wars, not the Chromium tainted plastic crap we know them for today.

Needless to say, I have bought many things there. Even if you don’t intend to buy anything, its a wonderful place to look around.

The Store is located at:

477 Broadway, New York, NY

If you don’t live in the New York metro area, you can shop online and they will ship anywhere in the world.

Website: pearlriver.com

You want a light sabre?

No not like this you perv!



Like this:



(good bit starts from 41 seconds, note this clip was banned in the UK and took over 50 takes)



Sky News here has been telling people these made in China 'light sabres' are dangerous, no shit Sherlock, most things from China are pretty freaking dangerous anyway like the burning sofas.* Ironically, in sky telling people these things are freaking dangerous they have probably increased the market share of http://www.wickedlasers.com/ a huge deal. What was it Harriet Harman when she told people to ban a working girl website? She gave them more publicity than they could have dreamt of.

*note if you choose the uber cheapest item from a made in China manufacturer there has got to be something wrong with it, it is like curry fish balls you can get 10 of them for $8 you seriously think curry fishballs have any nutritional value?

Sky news says

The device - with a beam 1,000 times stronger than sunlight on the skin - is touted by makers as "the most dangerous laser ever created".

Trading standards chiefs said they were "seriously concerned" about the sale of the Spyder III Pro Arctic model and have warned against its use.

As well as blinding, burning and causing cancer, its Hong Kong-based maker, Wicked Lasers, admits that "a split-second laser light in a plane cockpit (...) can be disastrous".

Star Wars fans are among hundreds of people who have already shown an interest in buying the laser, for sale to the general public for £135.

TCG doesn't see a problem, if you burn yourself and or give yourself cancer you only have yourself to blame take some responsibility. Children in generally do not have credit cards and thus are not capable of buying this themselves, ergo parents will probably buy it for their children who then hurt themselves and then attempt to absolve themselves of all blame. Which is bollocks!

It's like those parents who pretend to be responsible but then allow their children to use the Internet unsupervised. The events are unfortunate but it goes to show nothing happens until there are bodies.

If I was to give a loaded Uzi to my hypothetical son who's fault would it be if the theoretical CG's son went on a shooting rampage or shot himself? Would it be Uzi gaz for inventing the Uzi or mine?

Of course this does not apply if you use it against somebody else, then you are an absolute cunt of mammoth proportions, much like you are a fucking coward if you use a stun gun to attack somebody.

China scams 10

Ok ok so we've covered the first scam from the construction company. But they are all in it and pay bribes to the HKG therefore there is nothing people can really do about it. (For you Americans Estate agents are realtors just in case you didn't know).

Anyway the even worse insidious people are the estate agencies. They double count like politicians.

As I said before using say a 600sq ft flat, you'd expect there to be 600sqft of floor space right? Like if you buy a car you would expect it to have wheels right?

In HK estate agents are scummers, as said often the livable space in a flat/apartment is as low as 50% of the advertised floor space. Estate agents also count the walls as living space for starters. But they count things you don't even think of!

• The landing outside your flat ~ this is counted as usable floor space
• The freaking LIFT ~ this is counted as usable floor space
• The lobby downstairs is often counted too but divided between the flats ~ this is counted as usable floor space.
• The stairs! ~ this is counted as usable floor space
• A shelf no really you have an 8x8 room, minus the wall space lets say it is really 7x7 (it often is) so you get 49sq ft, not too bad, livable not great but this is Hong Kong remember. An estate agent will come along advertising place including the wall space as 64sqft. The scummer agent then sticks a 4x1 shelf up or even four of the damned things ~ this is counted as usable floor space this then becomes 68sqft. He adds 4 more shelves and suddenly your 49sqft room has become 80sqft.
• The above can be repeated in all sorts of ways, so a shelf above a shower thats space.
• Window sills are counted.
• The narrow shelf which sits OUTSIDE your flat hanging 200ft above the ground is counted as space.
• The freaking window sill on the outside is again counted as usable livable space.
• The washing line! is counted as space.
• A fan vent which is a hole in the wall is double counted too

Hey wait, I think I just thought of a way to pick up the hot babe who works as an estate agent in Tai Po. When I can claim to have a Lexington Steele or even a Jonah Falcon freakshow and when I finally whip it out claim exactly the same arguements as she claims.

Closing times

Dear TCG

Why do Chinese takeaways and restaurants all tend to close on Mondays or Tuesdays?

Brian



Dear Brian

Erm isn't this a tad obvious? Mondays and Tuesdays are the least busy days of the week, therefore you close = less loss of business. The preferred closing day in modern times is Tuesday so this does not interfere with Bank Holiday Monday openings.

Chinese people all collectively elect a day to take off so they can all go and party together. In Manchester for example Piccadilly 21s and Mr Smiths in nearby Warrington as well as in Bolton at the Temple. As below:



Oh look TCG did it again and put in lairy stuff to ogle,

Are filled with young Chinese people, unfortunately the triad gangs started coercing people into joining them and thus these Chinese nights are no longer as packed as previously. In fact let me go off on one of my many tangents, my over used story of the early 2000s was when I peeved off a gang banger in the temple and had about 20 hand guns pointed at me. The old adage of look but do not touch especially gangster's girlfriends applies here.

Doing business in China Prt 3

Guanxi

Guanxi can be loosely translated as contacts. In the UK there is the old saying it's not what you know but who you know that gets you places.

For example Peaches Geldof would never have gotten anywhere without her dad being famous.

The same applies to Kelly Osbourne and also Hack Helene Hegemann all sorts of people like that, there is a similar thing in China too in that you need to contact the right people. Finding contacts is the hard part of course in that for every good decent business man out there, there are probably 10 maybe 100 shysters.

Where to look for such contacts? There are various tactics for this:

Approach the British Chamber of Commerce in Hong Kong hang around some bars in Lam Kwai Fong and or approach some established businesses. Remember Hong Kong and Macau are safer placers to do biz than China.

Hong Kong shares British business tradition of limited liability companies which is good but it can also be an arse, in that they can steal your money liquidate the company and bugger off.

A good way to do this is if you do find a contact is to check up on them and request their accounts and or directorships for the past couple of years, if they have a habit of liquidating and running away this will show up. HK people and Chinese people are assigned ID card numbers that you can't escape!.

Anyway once you have your contact it is in effect a begging mission I hate this too, in that you have to take him out to dinner YOU'LL have to pay for it and generally massage their ego to get permissions to get permits or further contacts. You may well lose your shirt doing this as they will take the piss and exploit you ruthlessly. This applies even if you go through the chambers of commerce. You must massage their egos until the project is done and dusted and it is in operation as people you will meet who can get things done for you will invariably have contacts of their own.

In 2008 for example there was a story of a guy who opened a hotel in Zuhai (I know him personally) it is a fairly middle sized hotel, but the contact who set him up with builders and staff and permits was not invited to the opening. So what happened from this snub? The contact fixer phoned up the electricity company and cut them off. Myself and friendly girl (not girl friend) had to go and find him and then almost beg for him to turn it back on. He insisted that my friend drink a ton of booze and sort of demanded to have sex with her, we ended up walking out the electricity wasn't turned back on, so we went to find some petrol generators, except the fixer was good. He had told the people selling petrol generators not to deal with us. And the owner had to go grovelling back (for historical reasons I can never kneel or prostate myself or beg anybody a habit since 55BC). Finally after lots of bribes were passed back and forth the electricity was turned back on, but it was too late the grand opening had been ruined.


As many have said corruption is rampant, and in the UK you'd go to a judge and complain except the judges can be just as corrupt too..

The moral of the tale is all this could have been prevented by acting humble as if the fixer/contact was the sole reason you could get into this place. So if you find a contact a non corrupt one (like a needle in a stack of needles) you are going to have to act humble and invite him as an honoured guest until you are established. Once you become established you start growing your own contacts and fixers and cease to be at the mercy of your original fixer.

Doing business in China Prt 2

Due to writers block I'm writing this before I originally intended to do so.

Face, mian (phonetic)


Saving save, is old as something very old.

Some back ground on this Chinese people and Asians in general like to save face when they do something nasty or they will do something else that makes them look better than they are, quite simply lots of people will bullshit. It is terrifically important that in doing business you don't make companies lose face or their owners. Else they will utterly hate you and make take revenue.

I think this is similar to that of Ask the Korean. In that China only 100 years ago was mostly an agricultural society. Hell the small village in Hong Kong my dad was born in as recent as 10 years ago still grew water chestnuts. 40 years ago still grew wheat. There has been uber development. Take a look at the photo of 1950 vs today.




Anyway in agricultural societies people are close knit everybody knows everybody else and you need to gain the respect of everybody else in order to survive and prosper. As China didn't industrialise until Mao's disastrous policies and even then until the late 1980s. The country remained mostly agricultural and therefore people still have a strong need to keep the respect of others.

This respect and face is still apparent in western societies where people need to justify that they didn't do something. If anybody remembers the 1990s there were tons of hidden camera programmes that showed people in traps where things would fall off shelves and people would immediately deny it. This is apparent even though western societies became industrialised close to 200 years ago and less people worked the land, bonds between people dissipated.

The force is strong in this one, said Vader, the face saving force is equally as strong in China. A prime example is the self destruction of farmers crops (replanting) to impress government officials causing them to starve to death.

How this plays out in modern day life and doing business?


It is a bit like this



In that the invitee needs to save face in that if they leave the guests hungry then they lose face.

And while you are actually eating in a restaurant there is a culture of looking down on others, in restaurants people will be openly critical of the staff. Shout and blame that kind of thing, it is almost like bullying in that to make themselves appear better they will put down others.

More curiously you'll see when different families eat together you see this even in the UK, families will fight each other in attempting to pay the bill. I exploit this ruthlessly by putting up a weak fight then saying ok then. I sit back and enjoy the free lunches now and again. HUGE tips will be left again as a showing off type thing.

So whatever you do in Chinese business don't make people lose face, it will piss them off massively and they may never do business again with you. So in striking a deal you have to suck up to them even if they are arseholes.

I hate this form of business dealing, this is probably why my business dealings are done via email or phone as I don't like to stroke peoples' egos at all. But currently if you want to do business in China, Asia even then you gotta play by their rules.

However remember this one thing in that they are just as human as me and you and therefore there is a very high chance that it is bravado to conceal their real selves, it is just that they wear their masks extremely well.

Doing business in China prt1

This video here is still relevant

China has a bad no a VERY bad reputation unless you are a big multinational company, that is not to say you can't make money as I used to do the accounts of somebody who made bathroom fittings in China and was considered a hero of a small northern town in China.

However you get more of this

The problem is the guy who went to China to build motorbikes walked right into it. He had a wad of money no experience, no business plan and couldn't speak the language and skimped on a translator too. Imagine if a Chinese business man who couldn't speak English went to somewhere like Newcastle and asked a bunch of chavs to design and manufacture your bike. It wouldn't exactly be successful would it?.

In fact you don't need to imagine in that in the 1970s the owner of Hong Kong Li Kar Shing did come to the UK to attempt to do business, he nearly lost his shirt under the same circumstances.

Acquaintances who have been there to do business also state that they have a bad reputation Chinese motorbikes for example are terrible quality, you state you must use THIS grade of steel, they say yes and use a cheaper kind of steel and then wonder why things buckle and break.

In fact if anybody remembers the CIA fact book in the 70s and 80s it did indeed depict Chinese business men as snakes.


This does not apply to Hong Kong, or Macau but to China (Hong Kong and Macau don't have such corruption the ICAC prevents this kind of corruption) that doesn't mean there are no shysters in Hong Kong. Have a walk down the golden mile in Kowloon and it is full of shysters.

However for business negotiations here are some personally attested to guidelines (TCG attempted to go to Zuhai a couple years back to get something plastic manufactured there but the prototypes were consistently shit quality so this was abandoned I lost a couple £100 but that was it).

Anyway for negotiations:

1. The Chinese like to tell you they look for a win win deal in business. Good for you good for them type things. But really they prefer win for them lose for you.

This is because in China, there is still a mind set of super short termism, make money now damn the future. This is kind of similar to Africa. I remember reading a quote somewhere about African women having sex with people with AIDS. Bah whats the point of worrying about AIDS? I could be dead from Malaria next week 8 years is a life time away.

Changes in China are so rapid a similar mentality has developed, a similar mentality existed in US car factories were car parts were so fragile they would break if you looked at them too hard. Best cheat them out of money now, who knows what the future will bring. This even happens to BIG international corporates.

Cars manufactured there are copied examples are here.

This is reflected in UK immigration.

The Hakka immigrants in the 1970s took the long term view possibly as most of them came from the Hong Kong area and had British influence. This might also have been lessons learnt from history where Liverpool Chinese community were forced out at gunpoint multiple times, once they started to get the local people on side it became harder to force them to leave. But this is history for another day.

They have run successful hot food places for decades, and build relationships with their customer base. Peter Li for example of Cornwall has managed this for 35 years, people will come from miles to go to his place to chat etc. He initially lost money for a few years but they found he was a sound guy and therefore over time he effectively carved himself a nice little business.


While over the last 10 years many of the migrants from China are from Mainland China generally from Fujian, you can tell by their dialects when you wander through China town where the language is changing. Their business failure rate is incredible, Fred an accountant who deals with their accounts states that they have over 97% failure rate, it gets sold on to other migrants who fail again and again. The local shops around here once the Hakka/Cantonese people sold and retired have been flipping owners every 6-18 months.

I mention this in my book, where in Azerbaijan everybody cheated me, petrol that was 12p a litre suddenly became £1.20 a litre, shops with clearly marked prices were jacked up for my appearance. Cops would harass me relentlessly, sure they make a quick buck, but on my return Azerbaijan has been slated incredibly in various articles and news papers. Azeris may wonder why they have so few tourists in the future. Although Azerbaijan is a shit hole anyway.

2. Contracts mean NOTHING in China. They can be changed, modified and ignored any time any place. How are you going to enforce it? go to court where they have bribed the judge?

Much to the chagrin of the Korean guy this also happens in Korea. In that people sign a contract to go to a Hagwon and on the first day the owner of the school will give them a long winded speech in a euphemism manner about how their contracts mean jack shit. Again how do you enforce the contract? Go to a Korean or Chinese court when you don't speak the language and even the CCP doesn't respect contracts.

3. The Chinese are very patient in the negotiation process. They wait to wear you out and then get the upper hand when you are most tired.

My English bosses perfected this, in that they would always get you at the end of a long day and put pay negotiations at the end of hectic weeks to catch you off guard.

4. The Chinese take time to find out more about you and your business and they never strike a deal with you right away. So if you’re imbued with western culture, and aim to get the deal sealed as soon as possible, do remember this cultural difference.

A case of know thy enemy

5. The Chinese will tell you that you cannot do this and do that because the regulations forbid it. Don’t trust them. Go and find out the truth yourself and use an independent translator to research the regulations and laws. They will use the language difference to extort advantage over you, in most of the cases you will find that your Chinese negotiation counterparts are lying.

#6 Face ,Oh man face you must not make them lose face, China and Asians in general must never lose face, in China people in 1954 great leap forward would rather starve to death than lose face.

#7 Copyright law, China not even the government respects copyright law, just look at the J-17 which is a copy of the Mig 21 and copied stolen military technology. You go and walk around any market in China and you see 100-1 game cartridges etc. You see this in Hong Kong too but it is kept out of sight, it still happens. So if you have a wonderful invention perhaps you may want to manufacture those parts elsewhere say Malaysia or Singapore where copyright laws are more respected.

I am a Chinese but I am pretty fucking dismayed with the Chinese culture exhibited in business negotiations. In that as I said before the CIA fact book once said Chinese are lower than snakes, I can protest and say this isn't true, yet other Chinese people seem to consistently prove me wrong.


The issue is, if something seems too good to be true, then often it is too good to be true, greed avarice etc all seems to make us lower our shields. This is why the 419 scams still perpetuate if they capture 1-20,000 emails they send out it is still profitable.


A recent trend in this is a nasty confidence trick. In that they will send westerners employed by such corrupt companies above to meet them somewhere like Hong Kong, Its Hong Kong its gotta be safe right? To lure the negotiator into a false sense of security. And therefore let their shields down and thus lose their shirt.